Post Baby Bod
Hello Readers! Today’s post is special as it relates to all the mamas out there. Anyone can benefit from this post, but it’s especially beneficial to those new mamas struggling with their newfound postpartum body image. Do you find that you look in the mirror when you are getting dressed and feel a sense of not even knowing who you are anymore? Do you find yourself criticizing your body for its flaws (negative perspective) rather than for its structure and functionality (positive perspective)? Then, this post is for you!
Post Baby
Don’t get me wrong, having a baby is an amazing and beautiful thing. The human body is astounding in all that it does to prepare us for giving birth to another human being. But, at the same time, it is a lot of change that occurs in a very short period of time.
Though you may constantly hear how lucky you are to have had a healthy baby and that you look great, it doesn’t stop those negative thoughts racing through your mind. It may feel a little silly to be so worried about how our bodies look, but think of it as an acclimation to a new life. Not only have you just gone through a painful experience of giving birth, but your entire body has changed, the baby is no longer on the inside, you are now producing milk, and you’re having to learn how to “mom” in general. It’s a lot. So, no, it’s not silly to mourn the one thing that you were used to pre-baby and the one thing that constantly reminds you that you have changed. You also have a lot going on mentally, and this just adds to the never ending list of “out of control” things going on with you. Your body probably feels like the closest thing to “control” that you can get to.
Unfortunately, we also live in a society that tells us to love our bodies that allowed us to have children, while at the same time criticizing when that same body isn’t able to bounce back in a few short weeks. It’s unrealistic and hard to ignore.
So, what do you do? How do you maneuver this phase of life? Here are 10 tips that I’ve found helpful in my postpartum journey. One thing that I have been told that has really stuck with me is that pregnancy, postpartum, and motherhood is “brutiful” (brutal yet beautiful as you go through the metamorphosis and life-altering process of rebuilding your identity as a mother). Remember to be kind to yourselves right now, this is HARD. But, like all things, it will get easier with time.
Post Baby Bod Tips
Really focus on viewing your body in a way that emphasizes all of the things it has done and continues to do for you and your baby. Think of it more functionally rather than negative physical attributes. Let’s take a moment to really think about what your body has achieved. Your body just grew an entire baby (and for some multiples), not only that, it had to grow a whole new organ (placenta) and allow you the opportunity to bring that child into this world. It did all of these tasks in less than a year. Therefore the body naturally had to adjust itself to accommodate to these creations leading to a lot of shifting, stretching, and overall changing of the body. Now that your baby is here, your body is now tasked with feeding the baby, healing from birth, holding/carrying your baby, and managing to do all of the above while getting small amounts of sleep. Though all of these things are true, it is also normal to feel self-conscious and uncomfortable in your “new skin”. Try this: when you find that you have a free moment to yourself (even if it’s just when you shower, get in bed, drive to the store, whenever and wherever it fits!) think of 1-3 things that you are grateful for that your body does for you. Start small and only think of 1 if 3 seems too big. For example, “I am grateful that I have strong arms to hold my baby”.
Do you have a hard time being body positive? That’s okay, maybe try to reframe the narrative into being more body neutral. With body neutrality, you are aiming for somewhere in the middle of hating and loving your body. This is also a great time to work on acceptance of your “new skin”. Your body is now different, this isn’t a bad thing, but it’s also not a good thing, it’s simply different. Think of it as focusing on the facts, not opinions.
Do not try and force yourself into your pre-pregnancy clothing. If anything, go shopping for some new threads that FIT your body as it is. It took over 9 months for your body to change into what it is now, it’s going to take near as long for it to go back. Give it the time it needs to recuperate.
This one is hard. Try to stop body checking (walking by the mirror and observing all aspects of your “new skin” or constantly weighing yourself). If you can’t completely eliminate the body checking, at least try to limit it. If you need some tips on how to do this try some of these:
get rid of your scale
if you frequently use the mirror in the bathroom, try doing tasks (brushing your hair, brushing your teeth, face routine, etc.) that you would normally do in the bathroom in a different room without a mirror.
purchasing new clothes that fit your new skin
Practice utilizing positive affirmations on a daily basis. Pay attention to your self-talk dialogue. For example, if you find yourself saying “I hate my stomach”, reflect on this phrase and change it to something like “my body changed to allow room to grow a human being, it’s okay to look different”. By practicing this after the fact, you’ll slowly be able to change these negative thoughts in the moment. This change in self-talk is referred to as affirmations. There are even apps that you can utilize that will generate a new affirmation for each day. One of my favorites is called “I am”.
Even if you don’t like to journal, journaling can be extremely helpful. I like to tell my patients that by getting those thoughts out on paper, you are symbolically pulling these thoughts out and putting them in a different place. If you want, you can also tear up those pages you’ve written on and throw them out, symbolically tossing out the negative thoughts. If you don’t like to journal, or feel anxious about journaling and not knowing what to write about, try out a guided journal where there are pre-made prompts for you to work through. If you want something quick and simple, a gratitude journal would be great for you. Simply take note of the things you are grateful for.
Get rid of social media! Though social media is a big part of today’s society, it can also cause a lot of self doubt and negativity. If you find you’re constantly scrolling, try to not use social media altogether. If that seems too daunting, go through your feeds and get rid of the accounts that cause negative self-talk and replace them with influencers who are inspirational and positive for you.
Try to get up and get ready for the day. Don’t get me wrong, I get it. Being a new mom, or mom of multiples can make it very difficult for you to get up and get yourself ready in the mornings. It’s also way easier to just lounge in PJs all day and throw your hair up in the well-known mom bun. By getting ready and doing a little something to your hair, facial routine, makeup, etc. you start to feel more like yourself again. Please note this does not mean you need to go all out with hair, makeup and clothing, but just getting into a small routine for yourself where you feel GOOD about yourself, what you’re wearing and how you look is essential.
Make sure you are feeding your body properly! Even though it might be a natural instinct to start dieting in order to lose the weight, this may not be a good idea for you, especially if you’re breastfeeding. Even if you’re not breastfeeding, your new job as a mother requires a lot of work and you want to be able to function well. Focus on adding whole foods, protein and healthy fats. But, also remember treats are okay, too! By not being super strict and eliminating them, it allows you to eat what you want and focus more on moderation.
Finally, do yourself a favor and listen to what your body is saying and trust in what it says. Your body is intelligent and it wants to work as effectively as possible. Naturally, it will send you some cues to get you started with healthy behaviors. Pay attention to when your body tells you it is hungry and full, thirsty or quenched, and when your body tells you it needs activity or even if it needs rest. Your body is working for YOU and your job is to just follow these cues. Focus more on providing yourself with your basic needs first, in order to foster a sense of respect and positive self esteem to help you accept and appreciate your new skin.
There is no right or wrong way to approach this topic, and these are only some of the different things that you can do. These are also some of the things that have worked for me, so if it doesn’t work for you, that’s okay too. The important thing is that you are trying to be kind to yourself, and whatever that first step looks like for you is the right one.
As always, if you have any questions or concerns feel free to reach out!
